Earlier this week, I happened to see this video for Skrillex’s single, “Summit.” As I
watched this fancy, nicely sheened clip collection of young folks doing mostly
dangerous things, sticking out their tongues and genuinely having fun, a
strange feeling came over me. A
feeling of loss. A feeling of
nostalgia for a youth I never had.
I have no idea why this video triggered such a response, but part of me
began missing those moments of the suburban upbringing that I never had where
my friends got together on Friday nights, laughed around a campfire and rode
bicycles covered in tiny, bright lights.
Part of me missed going to parties where people were randomly making out
in corners.
My youth was not full of mischief. I was an urban, sensible teenager. I was a worrywart who avoided chaos to stay away from
trouble. Could I ride a
skateboard? No. I was the kid with poor coordination
and bad balance who was too afraid of heights to even imagine trying to do an
ollie. I didn’t grow up around
swimming pools. There was no need
for me to jump off of roofs into them.
I didn’t have such access. Growing up in New York, none of my friends drove. There was no need or access to sunroofs
to pointlessly endanger my hands and my head.
But, I guess, on some level, some part of me wants to
reclaim the innocence (and stupidity) of youth. Part of me wants to hang out with friends and goof off for
all hours of the night as if we don’t have a care in the world. And yet, there’s a sensible adult in me
that tells me such a time doesn’t exist.
(Lighting your friends on fire is frankly ridiculous and should never be
done by ANYONE.) Such a place, such a moment is perhaps a figment of a culture
hell-bent on showing us images of happy, magazine-model-ready club kids
experiencing what is probably a Friday night like there is no tomorrow. I wish I’d had more nights like
that. I wish I had been one of those
guys able to sweep the girl of my dreams off her feet at a chaotic party. Hell,
and here I am, in my thirties, probably just as much an onlooker and voyeur of
such a scene as I would’ve been at sixteen or seventeen. Why? It’s a part of my life that would’ve never happened. It’s something completely counter to my
instincts and personality.
Nostalgia is a strange idea. Especially when you are nostalgic about something that has
never happened to you. The weird
thing is, when good things do happen to you and you are in the happiest point
of your life, you often don’t realize it until it is too late and the moment
has passed. What a cruel
reality. Of course, if you were
actively cognizant of when you were experiencing the peak of your life, you’d probably
dread that moment when you’d realize that said moment had run its course. Perhaps that would be knowing too
much.
I guess my ultimate point is that we all need to loosen
up. Life would be more fun if we
all lived our lives as freely as the people in this video. I want to dance in the dark with crazy
lights shining on me. I want to
have the most beautiful woman in the room grab me and drag me out to
dance. The overall message I get
is don’t give up hope. No matter
how old we get, there’s still an irresponsible raver kid trying to get
out. This is apparently even true
if such a part of us was never openly apparent.
Take a deep breath and let loose from time to time. It’s good for the soul. Know when to be responsible and when to
throw caution to the wind. Often
times, you find your dreams will come true when you ignore that voice in your
head and let your inhibitions go.
The key is to know when to be free and when to remain sensible. Sometimes, you just have to hold your
breath and trust your gut. The
world of possibility is always open, as long as you allow yourself access.
